On the fifth day of Christmas, P. Dilly gave to me …

Actually, this was up on Friday the 22nd as part of the Pickle Tales Holiday Show #2, but, with the proprietors’ permission, I’m posting it here for those of you who haven’t heard it yet. Wesley Clifford of Planet Retcon and Will Ross of Smart Bomb Radio wrote it, Will assembled it — a herculean task if ever one was — and many, many podcasters (plus yr. obt. svt.) contributed lines. “P. Dilly” is Gary Leland, who organized and administers the Podcast Pickle site. Enjoy!

The Update Before Christmas

by Wesley Clifford and Will Ross
Adapted from the Poem “The Night Before Christmas” By Clement Clark Moore

(Digg it HERE!)
(Download the MP3!)
(Music: Doug Boldt, “Hark! The Herald Angels Sing with Angels We Have Heard On High” Courtesy of the Podsafe Music Network at http://music.podshow.com)

(Wintersheart)was the night before Christmas, and all ’cross the net,
(Mr. Bob)No RSS updates, and so no shows to get.
(Barely Podcasting)The iPods were docked to the computers with care,
(Tvindy)In hopes that P. Dilly soon would be there.

(Brother Osric)All the Casters were nestled all snug in their beds,
(Mrs. B)While visions of Microphones danced in their heads.
(Rubberhead)And Mama in her iPod, 80 gigs vast,
(Laurence Simon)We had just settled in to finish our casts.

(Blissfully Unfulfilled)When on my computer the hard drive did clatter,
(Juliann)I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
(Laieanna)Fingers on my keyboard they flew like a flash,
(Eclectic Mix)It’d just be my luck if Windows did crash.

(Twilight)But the moon through the window on my computer below,
(comedy4cast)showed an empty podcatcher, with not a one show.
(DiggersStory)But then, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
(Dani)But a great giant pickle, and eight tiny reindeer!

(Philosophy Guy)With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
(Zedcaster)I knew in a moment it must be St. Pick!
(Geek Acres)More rapid than broadband his casters they came,
(Tony — FanboySmackdown)And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:

(Mostly News)“Now, Rob Walch! Now, Eley! Now, Hutchins and Sigler!
(Brother Osric)On, Clinton! On, Ellis! On, Leo and Digger!
(Lynnette from SCRAPcast)And down through the modem, through the firewall!
(Jen and Corey)Now download ’em! Download ’em! Download ’em all!”

(KevinLeeC)As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
(Planet Retcon)When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
(SysTris)So up to the rooftop the casters they flew,
(KC Weather)With the jar full of Casts, and P. Dilly too.

(Mostly News)I heard on the rooftop, the shows I loved most!
(Dani)The talking and laughing of each beloved host!
(Thats good to know)As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
(Brother Osric)Down the chimney P. Dilly came with a bound.

(Shelly)He was dressed all in green, from his head to his foot,
(Zedcaster)And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.
(Slusy)A bundle of Feeds he had flung on his back,
(PNR Mikey)And he looked like a pickle, like a podcasting snack.

(The Right Rev. Chumley)His eyes — how they twinkled! Green pimples how merry!
(Dry Shave [Karen])His cheeks were like roses, his nose a green cherry!
(RL Burt)He held a wide smile, from his nose to his chin.
(the Keeme)And the beard that he wore, was green as a gherkin.

(Swingercast [Allie])The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
(Swingercast [John])And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.
(The Diva)He had a green face and a little round belly,
(Laieanna)That shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly.

(Mrs. B)He was chubby and plump, with a jar full of pickles,
(Blissfully Unfulfilled)And I laughed when I saw him, just like I’d been tickled!
(The Half [Me-Saj])A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
(The Half [Jason])Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

(Eclectic Mix)He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
(Comedy4Cast)And filled all the iPods, then turned with a jerk.
(KevinLeeC)And laying a finger aside of his nose,
(Worlds of Wayne)And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose!

(Brother Osric)He sprang to his sleigh, and the podcasters whistled,
(Barely Podcasting)And away they all flew like a guided cruise missile.
(Random)But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
(P. Dilly)“Happy Podding to all, and to all a good-night!”

ll of us here at the Scriptorium hope you’ve had a most merry Feast of Our Lord’s Nativity and an enlightening Hanukkah/Feast of Dedication, and we wish you a blessed New Year!